so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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