I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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