weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i already hear my dad disowning me
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
