I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
