His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
