SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
