What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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