The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
