Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
