i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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