Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
