she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
