it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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