are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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