Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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