About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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