in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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