Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize