just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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