The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
