she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So many bounce houses so little time
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
