Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There r osticjed everywhere
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
