We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
