Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
