O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
