How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
