moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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