Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
