from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
