butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i will never coherently bang her
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
