I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
