just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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