What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
