there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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