I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
