thus making me awesome and them whores
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
