the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
