And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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