Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
