The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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