And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
