I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
everyone is single if you try hard enough
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My vagina just recognized that song.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
