some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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