one might say we're banned from that church
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
