I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
