I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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