are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
