Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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