She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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