that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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