oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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